Intimidated by the Gym

By Ashley Williams

I love the gym, but I hate the gym. I love to work out and feel the burn, but I hate looking at the after product (fit women) and feeling bad…even intimidated. I’m going to be a bit negative for a minute and confess why I hate going to the gym.

Okay so here it goes:

Like I confessed before, I hate looking or glancing at other women who have worked much harder than me to obtain the body they have.  I get borderline jealous and intimidated to watch thin women or fit women, wishing I was still that size.

Watching women with more stamina than me makes me intimidated.

I feel like women are watching me workout.  Yes, it seems petty and I should not be worried about how they feel. Technically, I’m in the right place if I want to lose weight.

I confessed my feelings about the gym. Just pure truth. I am a 28-year-old woman who is worried about not looking like I belong at a gym. I mean, what does it mean to belong at a gym? I’m talking like this is a country club or some elite organization. (By the way, this is how I sometimes talk to myself in my head) This is the lack of confidence that takes over me when I am at a gym. Don’t get me wrong: I love to workout. I love the burn. I love the challenge of it. I just hate the anxiety of feeling someone’s eyes on me. I hate the feeling of thinking that I do not know what I am doing. I just hate feeling like an amateur.

My father taught me that feelings will lie to you before facts will. This means that my false feelings could not even be real. Maybe I am that hard on myself to the point I get nervous or worried. Maybe it is just me and my insecurities about being around a crowd of people at the gym. Maybe I’m just trippin’ after all.

I know that I am not the only person who feels this way about working out.  When I used to be heavy in the gym, I used to watch the newbies stare at other women or even stare at me because they felt the same intimidation that I feel.  They felt that they were not good enough or experienced like the other women in the gym. I know the feeling, but I know the biggest reason why I am at the gym.

I cannot always put my feelings in the way when it comes to getting my life together.  I never want to ever stop my life because of a false reality that isn’t there. My main goal is to live a long, healthy lifestyle and make more positive habits and choices.  I want to learn how my body responds to different workouts and how I can be able to incorporate a new workout regimen for myself. My life does not depend on a false feeling or false hope.  Breaking this monotony will help me to be more honest with myself.

Am I the only one who feels this way?